When your pain pierces my heart..


It is said that when we hurt someone, we hurt ourselves in the process.

I do not know how many of us can relate to this statement. But, I’ve frequently felt that it is very true. We might hurt others unintentionally, and regret that. We might also hurt others purposely, and regret that too. But there are situations when we are forced to hurt someone intentionally, in order to protect our own personal integrity. In such cases, there is no place for regrets.

Even so, we find ourselves getting hurt the most, especially if the other person involved is a good friend or someone whom we expected to understand and value us. We are pained not just because that person failed to respect our integrity, or because we had to confront her for that. We are pained because we should have been the last ones to hurt her. We are pained by her hurt look and by her unshed tears. We are pained because that person is blind to our own inner conflict. These are the times when we feel lonely, misunderstood, and disrespected.

However, we must learn to overcome such emotions. We probably feel that because of strong empathy towards our loved ones, and our high expectations from them. Nevertheless, shouldn’t we fight for our own personal integrity? Shouldn’t we boldly express our feelings and confront them?  If we do not let them know how we feel, how would they understand our own stands?

Therefore, it’s OK to open up, to tell them how they’ve violated us. Even if it means we end up hurting them. Even if it means we end up hurting ourselves as well.

Let them know how you feel.


As I cut open an inch of your heart,

So that you’d know how I feel,

I inadvertently stab my own heart

A million times,

Each stab resonating your pain…

-Surya Ramachandran

Image from Public Domain :  Friends by Margaret McMullen