Sacred Silence

via Daily Prompt: Sacred

My silence is just a facade

That hides a whirlwind of thoughts;

Pondering the next serenade

Or the meaning of life, dearly sought.

 

My silence is just a guise

That shrouds the tangled inner mess;

To get in, shed your disguise!

And bang on the doors of my fortress..

 

My silence is my way of telling aloud

That my feelings are too sacred to share;

If you are desperate to hear me out,

Show me how truly you care!

 

My silence is just a facade

That fades before those who seek

The inner chaotic cosmos I’ve made,

With appreciation at its peak.

 

-Surya Ramachandran

Sacred


Image from Public Domain :

SADNESS by RANT 73

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23 thoughts on “Sacred Silence

  1. One who has understood oneself wouldn’t need conversations, so please understand that most of what I say is understood from contemplation, extrapolation and above all an individual who is the Lord’s Grace embodied to me. I call him by different names but he always remains my Guru and he is never wrong. (no rationalisation except experience)
    You said bias ( in brackets) that somehow didn’t reach through.. is it OK for you to clear that?
    I am no more learned than you, I came looking for help, and you are already helping me in manners that are never repayable. The words are never hollow or exaggerated .. they are only true.. that is one among the few things I can assure you.. I do understand the mundaneness (pardon me for the bluntness) of conventional friendship and hence have none of those.. I did feel lonely once but now that is what empowers me.. that was what was implied by the statement “I am no more touched by external conflicts”. As you accurately put it, you are to love from a distance ,but, that distance should exist ,truly ,inside you because it is dharma fulfilled only when the love is felt by others. The differences among yourself and others isn’t permanent nor are the similarities. Decisions made based on factors susceptible to change are bound to lead to conflicts.When emotions are involved ,the more chaotic and explosive things become because emotions are the most tentative creations of human mind. Knowing this and yet being able to love others is loving unconditionally.

    Love essentially doesn’t mean emotions. The ability to bring out the best in others by
    the best in you is one form of Love.

    Don’t mothers ‘love’ their children to virtuousness when done in the right combination of actions? Children are pampered when only the so-called positive emotions are used to express love. Know this, you are the only one who is in control of your actions, and your actions only. Do not associate your Self with your mind or body.. when your body secretes dopamine you feel happy but that is a change that is limited to your mind not You,so what is this I really? Isn’t that the question? As for you willingness to take baby-steps .. bravo! Perseverance is the only thing that you need and that is manifest intrinsically, as faith in the Lord..
    One question I do have is ,what made you accept my offer.. the answer needn’t necessarily be given because the you need the answer more than me.
    Questions I do want answers for (if possible) are, “How do you find the content so far? Will it be of help?”
    I can be of help in the form of answers to your questions. They can be abstract (the more, the better). It is always your choice to quantify the amount of context and circumstance that is revealed.
    Do contemplate wisely and perseveringly.
    Pardon any line that has been crossed and do point out, because irrespective of anything that you say, you remain one among the few ‘friends’ that I have. The only unconditional ones..

    Thank you for your time and grace
    Ignotus

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    1. Ignotus,
      The conversation exchanged so far has been really enlightening. I’ve not experienced the joy of indulging in such deep philosophical discussions in the near future. Thank you for starting this discussion.
      I know that there are questions to be answered, and answers to be contemplated. And even more questions to be raised. I do not want to break this discussion by any means, but I’m forced to do so here because, frankly speaking, I do not want to intimidate an ordinary visitor who stumbled upon this post for the pure joy of reading a poem alone😅. I hope you understood what I meant. However, I shall reply to your questions in person, since we are not strangers, afterall ..(that is, if it is alright with you).
      That being said, I’ll clarify just this right now : when I said I’m having a bias, I meant how I do not see you as a stranger but might see another person I have no aquintance with as a stranger, and hence not prolong the discussion. Had I truly understood my real self, I wouldn’t discriminate ‘two’ people..there wouldn’t be ‘you’ and ‘me’…there will only be ‘I’…finding that ‘I’ is the ultimate purpose of existence..This is what the wise ones say…When I said I have bias, I meant to point out my lack of true wisdom.. Had I really understood the meaning of ‘I’ , I wouldn’t have differentiated you from a stranger. For a conversation with another, would
      be a conversation with oneself. There wouldn’t be a second party to converse with (just as you pointed out).

      The more abstract the answers are, the better.😊

      Thank you too for your time and grace. I hope to continue this contemplation in person. But feel free to comment on the posts…Any constructive criticism and suggestion are welcome.😄

      – Surya

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      1. How silly of me.. 😓😅I did get carried away.. thanks for pulling me back down. Sure, I am all for face to face conversations than typing it out. Feel free to contact me when your schedule permits. I will always be among your readers… look forward to your posts and questions.( the latter offline for sure☺️)
        Thank you for your time and grace
        Ignotus

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for choosing Ignotus..

    I didn’t exactly ‘stumble’ upon your blog. We have a common friend Vivek. We (with Vivek ) indulge in dialogues of the manner we (with you ) just had , frequently. In most cases, we end up talking about the Lord and how devotion to the Lord is manifested beautifully as undistracted attention to tasks at hand.This forms the basis of ‘Work is Worship”. However, during one such conversation, the conversation turned to devotees of the Lord. I guess this happened while Vivek was engaged in his Deeksha for Lord Hanuman. When Hanuman is discussed, inevitably Lord Ram comes into the picture.. and I am devoted to Lord Ram. Then just like that , you came up, as a devotee of Lord Krishna, whom Vivek knows.
    As you have shared your observations on me , I guess it is fair to return the favour. ( the pleasure derived from listening about oneself is among the toughest attachments, I still am struggling with that one) My few observations and major extrapolations are the only basis for my judgements so please do not be surprised or offended at any of the flawed conclusions. ( I did not have Indu tell me about you except for the fact that you two were involved in the same project.. ha! ) You seemed to be a withdrawn person with silence as your response to many unasked questions.. I did extrapolate this to the contemplation that you may be engaged in ..
    Lord Ram and Lord Krishna , the differentiation is folly as they are the same.. anyway putting together my extrapolations about you and the fact that you were devoted to Lord Krishna gave me a ray of hope, for I have been struggling with the Adhyathmika for quite sometime now.. But before that I had to know you better..
    I am an introvert as already stated, so beginning conversations just like that for seemingly no material reason , wasn’t’t something that I could do except with few people like Vivek and Rithvik. These are people whom I cannot defined as friends (conventionally) because we do nothing that friends commonly do. That was when the conversation gave me the knowledge of this blog. I began to follow it with a resolve of not commenting because I did not want project my opinions on your sanctuary.. But posts like “sacred silence” and “I had known all along” broke that due to the resonance of thoughts .. and here I am giving you long replies..
    Thank you so much for your time and grace …

    Ignotus

    P.S. I will always be among your readers and yes (rarely) I do find me encouraging to people (much to my surprise)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was a surprising turn of events..I must say that I’m really glad that that had happened. Your observations regarding myself being withdrawn is almost correct. Except that I do not attribute it necessarily to my contemplation on my Lord. I do remember him time to time, and contemplate him. But I’m only an ordinary girl with a chaotic mess of thoughts and feelings of all kinds, often dominated with a frustration of not being able to connect with others deeply, mainly due to lack of similar interests.. I’ve understood that as much as I can love the rest of the world, I cannot expect the world to love me back, as only the love of God is unconditional and permanent. Hence, very often, I feel connected and attached to my Lord more than anyone else. I have been brought up with the message, “Love all. But never be attached to anyone except the Lord”.
      But even so, I must say that my inner mind is never at peace, at least not at the times when I analyze and ponder on so many subjects other than the Supreme ..and that include subjects of pure material existence. I’m mostly silent because, unfortunately, I do not have a good company who/that would entertain deep discussions -emotionally, intellectually and spiritually (except perhaps, my parents..They are always there for me for almost everything.) That’s one of the key reasons I started blogging, as most of us here have a lot to share, discuss and contemplate, apart from the ‘shallow’ talks that most people find entertaining.

      Don’t worry about the long replies. I too am a person who gives long replies to questions asked sincerely, so I understand.

      Thank you for the support.

      Surya 😊

      Like

      1. I must say this , acceptance of being human , makes you more human. The line ‘Yad Bhavam Tad Bhavathi” is profound which is why ,I know, it is there. I am offering you a conclusion ( violating another of my basic guidelines “Help should be given , only when asked “). It is a kind of sample. This is not just “another perspective” because the peace that has come from this realisation is permanent ( No rational justification possible ). You always have the right to choose , as to taking it from your parents or me or any other individual or finding it out for yourself.. the path taken does not matter because there is only one point you can reach, the right point.
        I see you have contemplated on “Unconditional Love”, let me give the sample focused on that..
        You see the word”unconditional” is a little tricky , when claimed to be unconditional, it has shallow meanings which are at once obvious.But just like “Rayleigh Scattering”, where the manifestation is available for everyone to enjoy but the mechanics of it are truly challenging to comprehend, the implications of unconditionality may not be very obvious. I did read “Given Uneven” .. I am attributing it to a motive and dismissing the possibility of a random thought (correct me if wrong). Expecting something in return for something given is a condition. This is obvious. You can love unconditionally but not expect to be loved back the same way which renders the notion of being unconditional void. You see, the conventional idea of love requires both parties to interact towards each other but in reality among the few forms of true love (within this material earth), all are mostly unidirectional and some are by simple chance directed towards each other. The only unconditional love ,that I know existent on this material earth ,conceivable easily, is the one the mother has for his/her child. That transcends the material earth and I believe no human once a true mother (not necessarily biological or female) can be prosecuted back to the birth cycle ,for, the transcendental love he/she confers on his/her child transcends all other flaws. But here, can we expect the same from the child? As time progresses, this relationship is becoming more and more unidirectional. Here, unconditionalty completely falls in line with detachment. No , a mother isn’t detached to her child and that is why he/she is never at peace. Here , it is dharma to never be at peace because to them it is destined when they finally leave the material earth. One needs extreme levels of Punya to become a mother. Mothers needn’t always be biological or female, I have seen exceptional forms of maternal love in ‘males’, one example would be my maternal uncle. One last thing for this reply, when one is able to love unconditionally , the difference between the surrounding individuals vanishes because, there isn’t any condition that differentiates two individuals to the one capable of unconditional love. The whole world is a brotherhood to him/her. Swami Vivekananda could do this , which of course you are aware of, “Brothers and Sisters of America” he thus addressed.. the rest is history..

        I have asked for your help and you have been graceful to consent.. your need for companions to engage in such conversations gave birth to this blog, if you find the above sample convincing enough , you do have the choice of counting me in as a plausible friend (which of course has nothing to do with conventional friendship). Pardon me if I have taken too much liberty and gone too far.. and do tell me to stop.

        Thank for your time and grace
        Ignotus

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, ‘Given Uneven’ was a product of feeling deprived of due value and consideration in a few friendships that I treasured.., to the point where I felt that I was being taken for granted. One or two of these friendships were toxic and detrimental to my emotional well-being..I do not wish to speak of them in public as they are part of my personal past. However, all these experiences had arisen from my inborn tendency to forge a deep connection/ (emotional , intellectual and spiritual) intimacy with the people I feel I could open up and share my thoughts. Only that in today’s world, such depth and sincerity lie in very few friendships/relationships. I must have been wrong to expect it from people I often associate with…from the people I’ve broken my silence for.
        Most befriend because they want me to break my sacred silence..but they are not ready to listen to my thoughts or share theirs with me after that.

        Well . .the only way I could get over this defect of mine, is by embracing the whole world lovingly. I could stay aloof and indifferent, but that wouldn’t help in the long run. I realized that I must learn to be detached and love without expectations, and not invest in people unless necessary. I had been investing and putting a lot of ‘unnecessary’ care before, which I realized I must not. We must be like a third party, observing all, loving all from a distance. This is the lesson that life has been teaching me for some time now.

        I agree with what you have said about unconditional love. I’ve not yet felt that unconditional love truly towards anyone except perhaps my Lord. But I know that I can close whatever distance is left to ‘reach’ my Lord only by being able to love all without bias, one day..Only then I shall cease to be human and I shall be divine. Now, this is a very difficult process, and that day may not come in this lifetime..But I’m willing to take baby steps…although most often I slip and fall.

        I’m grateful that you have offered to be an ‘unconventional’ friend to me..I must say that I feel blessed, for I need such unconventional friendships that are purely intellectual and spiritual, and do not require ’emotional investment’. I would’ve hesitated to accept such an offer had it been from a complete stranger. But I believe it’s ok, in this case…(I’m still making biasis here…far from the undifferentiating mentality of one who has understood oneself)..
        Though it was you who had asked for help, I believe I’m the one in need of it.
        Thanks you for your help and guidance.
        -Surya

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  3. It is fair that you ask.. introvert in disguise.. an introvert has many synonyms reticent, restrained, withdrawn etc.. As I said , by the grace of the knower of the known and unknown, I am able to be untouched by my external surroundings if not completely, at least for a considerable threshold greater than the average that is seen. This came to me when I started to practice detachment. Absolute detachment is not possible or right to be practiced openly while living in a society ,as that is against the dharma while still being a part of the society. But what is possible is a disguise, we practice everything in the way they are done commonly, as in almost every case , “common things are defined normal”. This is to reduce the amount of conflicts that we may induce around us. Simply put, swimming against the current generates more turbulence.. but then this is a glorious opportunity to practice detachment as we do not ‘react’ but ‘respond’. All our acts are outward and they are not done because we expect something out of it but, to minimise conflicts. This may first seem as a dishonest way of life , but then the one jury that we are answerable to is our own will which the Lord exercises for the satisfaction of the Lord’s senses. It is said that humans in the scramble of material life forget this very fundamental truth and often engage in activities that cater to the bodily senses .. but then carrying out one’s ( this is how I understand a devotee ) dharma is a direct form of satisfying the all pervading Lord’s senses which is manifest in and as everything around us and ourselves.. once this is done the devotee is satisfied in manners that are unacheivable by material means.. now this act of detachment when described may sometime seem as introversion because, one does not truly take another’s woes as one’s own and tries to solve them but remains out of the problem and tries to solve it. This commonly is seen as lack of feelings , emotions etc..
    so I am not exactly forced to ‘pretend’ , I do it with full acceptance ,( not tolerance) , I am the one in control because nothing is being enforced upon me..
    much of what I have said is of course ideal, meaning that parts of it haven’t been attained by myself. But I understand these things due to the grace of the Lord ..
    sorry for my long replies..
    but as you confirmed that you are indeed devoted to Lord Krishna, I finally seem to have found someone who can help me ( all of the consent is yours to give ) . Have you been able surrender completely to the Lord..? ( clarifications can be given as I said only if required because , I refrain from creating conflicts in others)
    I know it is too much that has been asked in such a short dialogue , pardon me.. I am probably breaking all the manners of a polite conversation , I do not have anything to justify it.. I am simply another human who has been able to glimpse the height of the war that is waged inside us , that the Lord’s Gita is ever relevant all throughout this Age of Kali because The War of Mahabharatha is fought inside every average human for every living moment until liberation..
    once again sorry for the long replies, thank you so much for you time… if you are not comfortable with the turns that the conversation takes, please do stop me.. as I said before this is the one confusion that I still have, what can I ask?

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    1. You are as wise as the youngest of the Peverell brothers of Deathly Hallows…I suppose you admire him enough to choose his name? Sorry if this was sudden..The name sounded very familiar.

      I agree with your statement that detachment means responding and not reacting to our external stimuli.
      And you do not have to apologize for the long reply. I’m more than happy to listen to you.
      As for your question, my answer is ‘Not completely’ . I have surrendered unconditionally unto him in several aspects of my life. But then there were situations when I didn’t do so. But I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of immediate experiences that taught me the need to surrender completely unto him, and to be detached from people yet love them unconditionally. I’m still an immature girl trying to figure out the meaning of existence. I have a long way to go before I can say honestly that I have completely surrendered myself unto my Lord, or that I’m detached from the external world. But I’m learning to be, and I am constantly feeling that I’m getting closer to my Lord with each day, and I’m slowly appreciating the pure bliss of complete surrender. I hope to reach that level one day.
      May I also add that to me, completely surrendering to the Lord doesn’t mean lacking ambition or will to achieve, but it means striving hard to reach set goals but leaving the end result completely to his wish.

      I hope that helped. I’m not sure if I’ve answered your question. But I genuinely hope that it helped you in some way.

      Like

      1. Ha ha … I like being called Ignotus. It is the name I chose, because as you rightly guessed the youngest of the Peverell brothers sure did take a very high place in my then tiny mind (still is ,or an infinitesimal expansion) when I read the books ( about 9 years ago) . He continues to be a source of pride for me..
        Anyway, if my ‘given’ name is important.. I am Swaroop Chandra , pursuing my Int M.Sc degree in chemistry at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham.. so yep, we aren’t strangers , but we barely do know each other except for the waves and smiles..

        Now, your acceptance of immaturity makes you mature (funnily paradoxical ) but well, most people who contemplate ( including myself) tend to forget that ,which resets the minimal progress that has been made.. and no, surrendering to the Lord does not mean lack of will, it is the realisation to exert it with all the more rigour and employ the mind as a tool to perform one’s dharma. (which is by the way ,what it is) There is more to it which of course is to be gathered by oneself..
        Your response convinces me of your understanding of true surrender and that ,irrespective of how much you have attained actually, puts you in a position where you can help me..
        The Bhagavad Gita says, the first step to comprehending the Lord’s Gita is accepting that he is the Supreme and considering him as an equal is folly. It can only be comprehended , if we surrender, completely to Krishna. The name,form, or thought; irrespective of the sense that becomes aware of Krishna , it is the consciousness of that Supreme will’s presence that is significant . Hence, differentiating Krishna from the name and Lord , is folly. The very syllables in Krishna, is Krishna consciousness, the form of Krishna is being conscious about the Lord..
        Understanding and contemplating these have been herculean to me , because I never could surrender…
        Finding another individual , whose thoughts and insights are so much in line to reaching the Lord gives me happiness.. Happiness that is permanent , that isn’t expressible by words, deeds or the facial muscles.. That is the sole motive behind these replies.. By help, I meant this, while reading the Lord’s Gita I am in doubt sometimes, and mostly these are because I do not surrender. Here is where you come in, you are an overlap of a devotee as well as a person who contemplates.. I am sure you can be of great help to me ..( again, the consent is all yours to give.. )
        These are not complements but simple observations of mine.(If you have an aversion to flattery)

        Thank You for enduring my pestering today, with so much grace and I guess you are okay if more of it comes with a lower frequency.

        Swaroop/Ignotus (whichever you find comfortable)

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      2. Hello Ignotus/Swaroop,
        I should confess that I had no clue that it might be you when you first commented on my blog. I had thought that the name sounded familiar, but chose to leave it at that. But when I read your comments yesterday morning, I knew I was talking to a person who was well versed and familiar with the essentials of Indian philosophy, and you instantly sounded like someone who contemplates a lot. I must say that though we’ve only exchanged smiles and a few necessary, formal talks, I had heard a lot about you from your dear sister, including the fact that you are a huge Harry Potter follower and uses ‘Ignotus Peverrel’ as your profile name. This bit of information, connected with my observation and perception of the Swaroop Chandra I know as being a wise, mature person who loves to contemplate, I almost concluded that Ignotus Peverell = Swaroop Chandra..
        A cross-check with your sister confirmed my doubts. I’m sorry for not telling you in advance that I knew your identity yesterday. I thought that if you wanted me to know, you’ll let me know…and that maybe you are more comfortable being talked to as ‘Ignotus’, with no previous impressions.

        Nevertheless, I’m happy that you revealed your true identity. I may say I prefer addressing you as ‘Ignotus’ here, as that is how I first addressed you. The name suits you well too. I’ll be glad to be of help, if that is what the Lord wishes me to do. I do not find this as pestering, but as deep, spiritual conversations that would help to uplift our souls. After all, we are all in this journey together to reach enlightenment and thus perfect ourselves.

        That being said, I’m curious to know how you stumbled upon this blog. It will be a great appreciation and encouragement to me if you continue to read, comment, discuss, and support this little venture.

        Thank you.

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  4. Hello Surya,
    The obvious aside, that is , your lines are beautiful.. which the more I read becomes more obvious..
    I sense a set of instructions in those lines that may allow one to understand you better. From the posts I have seen , chronologically, your thoughts evolve.. evolve more and more out of the natural biases that one is born with .. closer and closer to reality.. hence I wish to ask this..
    As to summarise your year (2016) you had a post that conversed ( although a monologue) with a personified year. There you repeated, your increased proximity to “Lord” . (Also in ” I knew all along”)
    Before I ask any further, I ask this , can I ask? Also, I gather from the projection of words ,that they reflect your true insights?
    I have my doubts when conversing with anyone and the foremost is am I allowed to ask the things I ask because I know this is only the second time I write to you.. but then according to your post ” Man you are only mortal” I believe you do not require ostentatious exhibitions of like mindedness to tell me not about you, but your insights on some of the thoughts that have occurred to you.. I once again ask .. Can I ask?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ignotus, for writing to me once again..My posts are highly influenced by my mood, my experiences, and my innermost feelings and thoughts. I’m usually reluctant to share them directly with those I’m not close with. But, yes, you can ask..I’ll let you know if I feel uncomfortable replying to your question. Please know that I’m deeply touched by the fact that you have been seriously reading my humble blog. I feel immensely happy and appreciated.
      So, do not hesitate.😊

      Like

      1. It’s I who is at the receiving end .. the one claiming relief from your content in some of the posts. So thank you. Your content when pondered upon, reveals thoughts that are evolving as I said earlier. I do find your content intriguing because even though I am not a chauvinist of either kind , I am surrounded by them, and on an analytical perspective, most of their observations are proven right in most of the “systems” they observe. (Pardon me , but by systems I mean different human beings) .Their observations are biased of course but then removing them and looking for the fundamental point that is passed ,is mostly true.. until I have finally found one exception.. your views. Your views are strangely deep and coincide with my idea of ” If some thought is deeper , it is simpler ” .
        Your repeated references to the Lord and the respective contexts , convey a strong sense of devotion, a devotion that seems to be very close to what is called as “Bhakti”. Your content, your manner of responses all convey that you may be a devotee of Lord Ram ,but then I also sense multiple forms of devotion to the same Lord , which makes me conclude that it is actually the most charming incarnation of the Yuga as well as the Manvantara.. Lord Krishna. Am I correct ? That is my question.

        On a different context, I am hesitant to comment because I do not believe in projecting my opinions because I believe that there is enough intrinsic conflict in every human mind to be resolved ,so that The Absolute may be realised and that inducing more is wrong unless ,it is one of those that shall in effect reduce the conflict..
        Asking about your insights, it is only fair if I say something about mine too. I am an introvert in disguise , not a natural one but a converted one. Well that is how most would put it. But I believe that I am no more touched by the Adhibhautika ( I can only believe but not prove because rational or intellect are rendered useless ).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are correct, Ignotus..Although I believe that The Absolute Truth is impersonal, I have consecrated Lord Krishna in my heart as my Lord..The way you described him as ‘the most charming incarnation of the Yuga as well as the Manvantara’, really filled my heart with inexplicable bliss..It’s wonderful to hear someone address the Lord that way..Thank you..

        Yes, there are certain things that cannot be explained rationally, but might nevertheless be true..If you do not mind me asking, when you said you are ‘an introvert in disguise’, do you mean to say that you are essentially an introvert who has been forced to live like an extrovert due to outside pressure? I’m curious. You need not reply if you don’t feel like it.

        Thank you.😊

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