The VIBGYOR of Love..The key to renew and rekindle relationships

via Daily Prompt: Renewal

Do you want to add colors to the fading bond you share with your loved ones? Do you feel it is high time to rekindle the love you share with your parents,siblings, friends, partner and others who are close to your heart? If so, here are the seven colours you need to add to your relationships (throughout this article, relationships refer to all kinds of relationships, not just romantic) :

1. Vulnerability

Group of Violet Flowers

Group of Violet Flowers by Image Catalog

Do you know that we are most vulnerable to those who are closest to us ?  One of the most important ingredients to a strong bond is to be vulnerable to an extend. When I say we must be vulnerable, what I mean is that we should not hesitate to show our deepest feelings to those who are close to our heart. In other words, we must let loose of ourselves…This need not be done consciously, actually. We do this almost unconsciously. We all have a certain few people in our lives who have the magical ability to bring forth the untold words, the unshed tears, and uncontrollable laughters. True, meaningful relationships lend us a haven for our rawest naked emotions and thoughts to bloom and express without restrain.

Call me a sadist, but I feel extraordinarily warm when people come and show their vulnerable side to me. I do not consider them to be weak for that. Instead I find them to be strong enough to let go of their ego and show their weakness. It also makes me feel I’m important to them.

So, next time you feel like letting go of your pain, don’t hesitate to go to your close ones, OK? Similarly, welcome them with open arms when they want to let go of their pain too!

2. Intimacy

Flower Tower

Flower Tower by cecilysdiary

Whatever be the nature of a relationship, be it filial, platonic, friendly, or romantic, intimacy is what adds brightness to it. It is like a fabric conditioner, that adds strength and aroma to the fabric of love, extending the expiry date of the relationship.  Hence, ensure that you spend some quality time to be emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and if needed, physically intimate with your loved ones. A hug, a kiss, a private talk, or simply watching the sunset together would go a long way in forging and feeling a strong connection.

3.Belief

very blue sky

very blue sky by anika

Belief in them and belief in self.  Belief as vast and deep as the blue sky..This should have been the first, but oh well..

Trust is something which is earned over time. It can be lost over time too. But, for any close bond to be formed, there should be a minimum trust that has to be placed. Else, how can we be vulnerable or be intimate? I dare say that we should never trust another hundred percent, for people can change over time, often in a bad way. But putting the pessimism aside, we all should learn to place a considerable trust in the people who we want to treasure and cherish. Relationships are often tested through time. Most of the time, we need to trust each other and believe in each other’s good to tide over the tests of time.

Also, never forget to believe in yourself!  If you don’t have the trust in your own abilities to love and care for others, you’ll miss out the love and care that await you at your doorstep.

4.Gratitude

Green Heart

Green Heart by Julie Brunner

How many of us often forget to express our gratitude to our loved ones? We have this habit of taking our parents, siblings,best buddies and partner for granted. After all, aren’t they doing what they are supposed to do? They are here to stand by us through thick and thin.

Actually, no. Although most of the relationships are bound by a sense of duty, especially of family, the reality is that no blood connection or vows exchanged can ensure the love and care in a relationship. If this had been the case, there wouldn’t be old-age homes, there wouldn’t be abandoned kids, and there wouldn’t be domestic assaults.

So, we must never forget to be grateful to those who care genuinely for us. I’m not telling we should be formal and say ‘thank you’ always.. but we should not miss an opportunity to express out gratitude through our care and support whenever they require them.

5.Yells

Dig My Yellowness

Dig My Yellowness by Alan levine

Strange, huh? It’s not just because we have such a shortage of words starting with ‘Y’..but, I honestly think that this is important in any successful relationship. Allow me to explain.

Communication is the key to a strong relationship. And conflicts, no matter how much ever we resent them, are the accident prone danger zones in the road that we travel together with our loved ones. We can choose to avoid these zones, but we’ll never progress further in our journey. All the bitterness and resentment would pile up and would burst one day, leading to a catastrophe. So, the best way is not to avoid conflicts, but to confront them.

Of course, there would be emotional breakdowns..There would be cries, yells, and sometimes even uncensored harsh words thrown at each other. I’m not telling we should speak whatever we feel like. It is necessary to censor our tongue. But the message must be put across. It is perfectly natural to express our dislikes and discomfort to those who are close to us. A bit of temper can be unleashed too. And most importantly, allow them to do the same. After all, don’t they say that the strongest relationships are often ‘love-hate’ in flavor ?

6.Observance

31219577902_c54395f1e1_z
‘Public Domain Dedication CC0 t5001’ by gnuckx. 

A simple but profound philosophy. Observance and keen attention to the needs and wants of your loved ones will exponentially enhance the quality of your relationships.  Know that they deserve your attention and appreciation, atleast in small doses every now and then. Observing their behaviour and life style would help in attuning yourself to be sensitive to their needs, and would help you to foresee possible troubles or tremor in their lives. That way, you’ll never miss out an opportunity to support them in times of need.

There is warning here though. Not everyone out there would appreciate your attention. There are people who might not find the worth in the time you spend for them. Please do stay away from them as much as possible! There are far better people out there who would be grateful to you for your care.

7.Respect

Lavaglut rose

Lavaglut rose by Bernard Spragg. NZ

Last this may be in the list, but I dare say this is the king of all. The most important color without which a beautiful relationship can never be painted. Something, unfortunately, we neglect at times -Respect.

I personally believe that any good relationship should be founded on ‘reverence’. Reverence is a wonderful combination of respect and love. Unless and until we respect each other for our core values, we’ll never be able to establish a long-lasting bond. We might be different from our loved ones in many ways. Also, everyone has sides to them that may be disappointing. But, it is essential that we find the bright sides in them and respect them for that.

Most friendships and romantic relationships fail because there is a lack of mutual respect. Even within families, disrespect among parents and children can cause disharmony. Only when we learn to give respect to the ones close to us, openly letting them know that we value their strengths and their inner cores, no matter how different they may be from our own, only then will our essence be valued too. The policy is ‘Give Respect, Take Respect’.

At this juncture, I would like to add something. Should you cling and value a person who doesn’t respect your core, in spite of you respecting hers or his? You might have, or might encounter such people who do not appreciate your core, going so far as to consider your views naive and immature. And again I plead  you to not invest much in such relations, for they tend to be toxic and discouraging. The crux of this is to stay in relationships that will be positive to you in the long run. Make sure that you spread positivity as well!

 

 

So there you have the seven colours to paint your fading relationships bright again.. I’m so glad I could convey my thoughts to you..and I want you to know that I love you! I may not know anything about you. But the fact that we are both beautiful creations of the same Lord, that we were born from the same star dust from the primeval atom, is enough for me to love you. I have written this in my (infj) perspective, and you might have different, even contradictory opinions. It is only natural!  But I’ll be really glad to know your thoughts on this post.

Also, all the images are from public domain. Kindly click on them to follow their source. The images may not have any connection with the topic, but have been chosen according to the corresponding color of the rainbow.

Feel free to share this message of love!

Thank you and Happy New Year!

With lots of love,

Surya   🙂


Featured image from Public Domain:

Natural Colors by Alan Levin

Renewal

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One thought on “The VIBGYOR of Love..The key to renew and rekindle relationships

  1. Pingback: An Open Letter to 2016 – The peepal

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